Hair Club Is Taunting You
January 20th, 2008 by Patrick
Does hair really equal sex? For me, I’m lucky enough to have a full, lustrous head of hair which if my maternal grandfather is any indication, I should expect to carry into senesence and the next life, so I haven’t paid a lot of attention to the Hair Club for Men.
However their current online ad campaign appealed to me because it’s simultaneously implausible, mean, and a little sexy. Having at least temporarily dumped President/Member Cy Sperling, they’ve launched a web “game” called Photohunt that makes some pretty serious promises to the follicly challenged. Players - presumably lonely baldies who spend Saturday night with a laptop and a bottle of hand lotion - have to pick out the differences between two photos, the most notable being that the more hirsute subject has a beautiful and compliant woman with him and the chrome-dome gets a blowup doll or worse (At least the Hair Club resisted the temptation to show the hairless guys getting busted while trolling for hookers).
While the ads are obviously tongue in cheek, it still strikes me as a mean-spirited jab at one of the most fragile spots on the eggshell male ego. Imagine if Jenny Craig launched a similarly styled campaign, with chunky women sitting at home with a dream and a pulsating shower head while the skinnier they fends off suitors at a shipboard disco. Sure, the subtext of all appearance-enhancement programs is that if you don’t pony up you’ll be condemned to a lifetime of loneliness and celibacy, but it’s tacky to be so overt about it.
Well, my spouse is a baldy and he got this hottie, so I should sue them for spreading false information!
Before you sign your life away consider reading this first. I signed up to this place not knowing number one that they are the most expensive company on the earth…and its so unecessary. Well, I got my consultation and the lady told me that no matter what I did my services were not going to go above $200. Ok, that was fine until the next visit (the one where my hair was being applied) did I then become informed that for a whole head piece (im losing my hair all over…what did they think i needed???) that it was going to be close to $400 plus supplies plus tip out (this is in a month). So, I gave in…I’m a woman that was losing her hair…did I have a choice?? Well, two days before I was supposed to go in for my application visit, they call me to tell me they have lost my hair!! Great. This is only getting better by the minute. So, I still went with it thinking I had no choice. So, they applied my hair (when it finally arrived). It was the most PAINFUL thing i have ever been thru. It interrupted sleep and just life in general. They mismeasured and my hair was way too tight. I had to live with it for 10 weeks. Very miserable!!! So, then I come back in for 3 more appt and on every appt they question the fact that I even had the appt. Does this get any better?? So, I came in for now my 5 or 6 appt, get sent to a room and left there for ONE HOUR. Finally I walked out and told someone and the only response I got was “We had no idea you were in there”!!! The office mgr came in and told me they had been working on others, that they were sorry and someone will be in. I left. So, finally the NEXT DAY they called to apologize. Nice. Im so flattered. Well, that was just my experience before cancelling. Now, lets talk about the hair. Its ok…on the surface but your scalp DOES NOT breathe. This is so unhealthy. This leads to itching and burning. The glue after so long takes on an odor. Try dressing for work or any other important function and smelling sour. Not fun. Also, by the second week the glue has let go and your hair is basically going to slide off your head. This is the worst place to ever go. Overpriced and underserviced. There are so many other places you can go. Just please reconsider going to this place.
Hair Club was so high pressured in their sales pitch it comvinced me to do the right thing. I got a transplant from a highly qualified doctor. It’s the only way to go, and get it done right.